Mortgage Moms: Setting the Tone


As I sit here feeding my newborn and second child, it hits me… I am the life support for my children. Not just in the literal sense, but in the emotional sense as well. The more time and energy I spend nurturing the newborn, I realize the second one needs nurturing, even more so now.

Nurturing is a constant in our lives. Nurturing our children, our relationships, our business, our teammates, our partners, and ourselves. It is needed in every compartment of our lives and at times some compartments need more of it than others. I am sure some of you have been there. You add a new element to your life, whether it be a marriage, a child, or a new job, and with the blessing comes compromise or shifts. You ask yourself, “how do I balance it all? Will I have enough patience and energy to be strong for the entire unit and take care of myself? How do I give to my team and customers at the same level of service while still providing for my family, myself, and my interests? Is the expectation to provide 100% to all compartments of our lives at all times? Is that even possible?

I don’t have the answer to that, and I imagine every person, depending on their own personal discipline and personality type may answer that question differently. Most of us hold ourselves to a higher standard than we hold for others, but why? Why are we kinder and more forgiving to others than we are to ourselves?

Regardless of how you answer that question, it is important to realize that you can set the tone, the example, for your team and for your family. If you feel defeated, stretched, and are unkind or impatient with yourself and others, you are modeling that for everyone around you. I am never 100% to everyone at all times, but I strive to give whatever I have that day to the present moment and the people around me. This is a practice I am still working on mastering, and when I fall short one day, I need to forgive myself.

Jessica Nagatani

Jessica Rocho Nagatani is the Chief Production Officer for Honolulu Home Loans and a mother of two. Jessica can be reached at



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